Validation Therapy - Validate yourself and know that you can achieve great things!

Have you ever come across a dear one who just wants you to listen and not say anything about being right or wrong? Ever been in a situation where someone or maybe yourself seeks validation about what is being said or done no matter what the reality is like?

Have you ever wished you could take back an email that you sent when you were emotionally upset? Or maybe you made some statements when you were sad that you didn’t mean or agree to something when you were thinking with your heart that you later regretted? Or maybe you wanted to be supportive and helpful to someone you love but couldn’t because your own emotions made it difficult.

According to  (Rather & Miller, 2015) Validation means that you understand where the other person is coming from, even if you disagree with what they say or do.

How important it is for each of us to sometimes have this validation, without any judgments, no second thoughts to just being heard to or listened to. This all the more becomes important in time of therapy.

When a client comes to a therapist, the relationship that is built is totally different, your client doesn’t even want to know or understand if this right or wrong, all that would matter would be that they can just speak their mind off.

Recognizing that someone’s feelings and thoughts make sense can show that we are listening nonjudgmentally and can help build stronger relationships, especially in therapy.

Let’s know a little more about what is Validation Therapy.

In a study by Kocabas & Üstündağ‐Budak,in 2017, Validation within therapy encourages and supports the understanding and acceptance of the client’s experiences, both verbally and nonverbally. It signifies that clients are heard and that their behavior is understandable(even if not appropriate) in their given context.

There are different types of Validation in Therapy session, the most common ones being:

Active Listening: remaining focused, attentive, and in the moment while maintaining eye contact.

Mindfully responding: monitoring verbal and nonverbal reactions to what is said.

Reflecting without Judgment: recognizing and verbalizing what the client is feeling (such as, “I can see you are having a tough time at the moment”)

Being tolerant: even if not in agreement with the client’s behavior, considering their history and how their thoughts and feelings may make sense.

Acknowledging what they say: such as acknowledging that something happening sounds awful, offering a tissue, or asking, “What do you need right now?” Acceptance throughout the session is crucial.

Restating what is said: summarizing and simplifying what is said (verbally and nonverbally)by the client by providing accurate reflection (such as, “You think it is unfair that you do all the housework, and you would like things to change.”)

Focusing on Behaviors: pointing out that the current behavior may be unhelpful and has not always worked in the past

Treating the person as equal: seeing the client as an equal and showing them the respect they deserve.

Radical Genuineness: believing in the client’s strengths and respecting that they are capable of change.

Importance of Validation

The relationship between the Therapist and the Client is known as a Therapeutic alliance, and it is crucial to maintain this relationship to have a successful outcome.

Validation communicates acceptance. Humans need to belong and feeling accepted is calming. Acceptance means acknowledging the value of yourself and fellow human beings.

Validation helps the person know they are on the right track. Life can be confusing and difficult. However, getting feedback from others about your thoughts and feelings can help you feel grounded and understand that you are on track.

Validation helps regulate emotions.  When one doesn’t feel heard and understood then those thoughts lead to fear and maybe panic because of the importance of being part of a group is critical for survival. Validation helps soothe emotional upsets.

Validation helps build identity. Validation is like a reflection of yourself and your thoughts by another person. Your values patterns and choices are highlighted and that helps people see their personality characteristics more clearly.

Validation builds understanding and effective communication. Different people can perceive the same event and look at it in different aspects. Human beings are limited in what they can see, hear and understand. Validation is a way of understanding another person’s point of view.

Validation shows the other person that they are important. Whether the person being validated is a child, a significant other, a spouse, a parent, a friend, or an employee, validation communicates that they are important to you and you care about their thoughts feelings, and experiences. Validation also shows the other person that you are there for them.

Self-Validation and Self-Respect

Clients can use the process of validating themselves as a positive method for improving self-confidence and self-esteem.

Here’s a small validation statement for self-validation:

I reminded myself that there is a cause to all behavior and that I am doing my best.

I was compassionate to myself.

I admitted to myself that it is hard when someone invalidates me, even when they are correct.

Conclusion:

The process and outcome of validation are valuable in any relationship, yet crucial in therapy, promoting the therapeutic alliance that ultimately predicts treatment outcome.

A simple-to-understand concept, validation is powerful and often more difficult to practice than it might at first seem. In my experience, the results are well worth the effort. Do reach out to us to help you Transform Happily.